Scented Soaps and Broken Hearts

From Hysteria By GIRLONFILM Issue 01 "BITTERSWEET".

Written By: Madison Elane

Girlhood feels like scented soaps and broken hearts. 

Messy kisses covered in gloss and a stash of love poems that collect dust. Love and hate burning in your soul but all you can do is light candles, take a bath, and hope your emotions don't devour you whole. Painful but pretty. 

Dancing around without a care until you see the way they stare. 

Your ballet teacher telling you to suck in she can see your lunch, which leads to you almost fainting on stage. 

The desire to run away and the fear of staying. Finally doing something crazy and learning a lot in the process. 

Coming home hurt but at least you wore your waterproof mascara. Going to his house just to feel something. 

Wanting to be just like your mother one day, until you learn all that she has endured. 

Showering before church and feeling them undress you with their eyes. 

Crying yourself to sleep in a vintage nightgown. 

Doing anything to be desirable but never feeling like enough. Not on your own at least. 

Getting dressed up to see if you can love yourself. Going thrifting with the one friend who reminds you that you can and hating yourself for ever hurting her. 

Reading sad poetry on a sunny day by the river and jumping in with your dress on because you love the way it feels. Girlhood is beautiful despite its tragedies.